The Unsent
by Rikku Ronso
Summary: As the Guardians reach the final climb in their journey, this story follows Auron as he battles alone with his memories and feelings. A continuous Aurikku. : Please read and hopefully enjoy!
1. Thoughts

Hiya, I used to write The Sphere Chronicles. Lately having read through it once more I'm a little ashamed of my own writing, it seemed very childish. SO I have sort of abandoned it for a little while, and have started up this new Aurikku.

It begins in the Calm Lands and will follow the game storyline, but not as much to a tee as my other story did.

* * *

_"Heyyy wait!!"_

It had been three days since the group arrived in the Calm Lands, and they had yet to pass through them completely.  
Whilst Auron appreciated the sights, they weren't anything new to him, nor anything _beautiful_, not really. He'd seen them all before, the giant craters in the earth, the cracks in the land - and whilst the cliffs and fields had inspired awe in him ten years ago, now, now they just reminded him of what lay ahead.

Until this point, the guardians - all six of them - and their summoner, had hiked, climbed, strolled and ran through sea, sand and snow - areas full of gorgeous scenery - golden sands, sparkling seas, lush grass and crisp icicles.  
But he **HAD** seen them all before. And there was some terrible reminder of Sin in each area. The Fayth's forest of ice in Macalania - created by Shiva, another aeon dreaming for a world without devastation.  
The empty plains of Bikanel Island - lonely dust fields covering abandoned towns, destroyed by Sin spawn years ago.

And now, the green grass spiking through cracks in the land - cracks created as Sin fell to Summoners over the years.  
And as the Summoner destroyed Spira's enemy, they themselves collapsed - atop of the Zanarkand ruins, their strength and life consumed by the power they had exerted on Sin. Then, dying alone there, having lost their Guardians to Sin - they faced a future life as a fiend themselves, if they had no more strength to send themselves.

Auron shuddered. Even having sacrificed themselves for Spira, no one came to give them a proper burial. No one came to mourn the summoner, or their guardians. Too wrapped up in their own pleasure, their parties and celebrations. "The Eternal Calm has come!" - _Yes_, but at what price?  
And this was why he couldn't appreciate the "Calm" Lands - why should a place for Sin Fall be bestowed with such a name? He shook his head. After all this, all that he had seen, he would still bring Yuna to Zanarkand. But why? To protect her? But he wouldn't be...she _would_ die. To free Jecht? But he couldn't...he would have to watch _him _die once more. Maybe it was because he didn't know what else to do. He didn't know what to live for.

He lived for them, his summoner, his fellow guardians. They were all younger than him, too old to be his children but even then, two of them were the children of his friends. And that was why he journeyed. Because he had promised.  
He wouldn't let Braska and Jecht down. Not now.  
Living and travelling with the group had led Auron throughout Spira once more. He saw all the things he had before. _But,_ he supposed, he was seeing them through different eyes, with different people.  
And those people were his newest friends.

_"HEYYY!"_

She was _so_ pretty. He frowned, this journey was for Spira, for Yuna and Braska, Tidus and Jecht. Not himself. But...it was for her. She wasn't to be guarded. She was a guardian herself. But he couldn't help but find himself protecting her, always. Whether it was grabbing her by the wrist and dragging her behind him when they were confronted by Bevellian knights...or diving in front of her in battle, taking the enemy's blow himself. And they _had _become quite the team. When he protected her from such blows, she would concuct him a special potion, healing his wounds instantly. She would always ask why he jumped to take the blow, but he could never explain it. He had tried, once, explaining that he wouldn't want her to end up scarred. She seemed awkward with her reply to it. He guessed that she had taken one look at his eye and had been scared to offend him. He just...didn't want to see her beautiful skin broken, and he didn't want her to be hurt. When Yuna had been captured and taken from the group, their "resident healer" was missing, and so the group shared what knowledge of cure magic that they knew, along with bandages and potions. As they were so often paired, Auron became the little guardian's healer, and _she_ his. She giggled through the pain, calling him "quite the nurse". He chuckled too, when she produced small neon-orange plasters from her hip-bag and placed one tenderly on his cheek. Way back on the Moonflow, just after she had joined the group, they camped over night. It was their first evening together, and began the start of their awkward partnership. They were designated as "Camp Watch", which she then happily renamed the impossibly long - "Supermazing Uber Camp Fire Watching Guardians!" She had then fallen asleep in a matter of moments. This would have been fine - had she not collapsed in a heap on his lap.  
And thus began their nights of "super fire watch..." - "NOO Aurie! It's Supermazing Uber Camp Fire Watching Guardians" time.

_"Oi! You!! You big meanie! Wait!!"_

She was bright and clever. Strong. She had been so brave. Back in the Thunder Plains was when he had first realised how truly courageous this small woman was. It had been a struggle to cross half of the plains. It had possibly been the most running Auron had done in around ten years. However, when she caught sight of the Agency, all movement seemed to grind to a halt. And eventually, he conceded to a night in the Travel Agency. After all, he couldn't say "no" to her gleaming bright eyes. As everyone went to bed, Auron agreed to Yuna's requests that he stay up and wait for the scared guardian. After all, "he was the last to join the Guardians before her, and they did seem close." He had grunted in response to this. Perhaps his soft spot for the little lady was a little too obvious. It was around midnight when she popped her head up from under the bedroom desk, rubbing her eyes furiously. At first, Auron thought she was tired. However, on closer inspection, he discovered she had been crying as well. Sighing - but smiling wearily, he gathered the cushions from the waiting area, and put them around her. Kneeling down, he took her hands in his, and smiled. Resting underneath the desk, he asked her questions, hoping it would both distract her and keep his eye from falling shut. She told him why she was afraid of thunder, and why she refused to go into the Farplane. He had asked previously, but now - _now _she had told him everything. How her mother had died, how her race had been punished, how she had been _so_ alone. He had held her in his arms, and she had fallen asleep.

Would she be brave now? He had so much to tell her. Could she handle it? Would it be cruel to tell her it all?

_"HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY!!"_

He had to tell her. At the end of this journey, they would be seperated for good. He felt too much for her for her not to know...He was _in love_ with her. And he was unsent. He was dead and he would die again at the end of this journey. He had to be sent. He couldn't risk ending up like the many fiends they had encountered across Spira. He was meant to protect her, not hurt her. Even though telling her would be painful enough. He shook his head, it had to be done. Maybe she might _even_ let him down gently, he didn't suppose she would be greatful of his love whatever happened. But...it was love. He did love her, maybe even since the day they met. The first night they guarded the fire, all the time they spent together alone in Guadosalam, the night in the Thunder Plains...everytime they spoke he realised how special she was. She was so young, she was so positive...she was everything he knew he wasn't. But maybe in ways, they shared a lot. And he knew he had to share his feelings with her.

_"YOU BIG RED MEANIE! WHY WOULD YOU JUST IGNORE ME?! HEY!!!"_

Auron turned around suddenly. He'd been walking toward the Calm Lands exit for the past half hour, lost in thought. And all the while, she had been calling him. He felt ashamed instantly. He had never been an ignorant man.

"Hey! All I wanted was for you to wait! What's up with you? You look really thinky all of a sudden!!"

"Rikku..."

She was scratching her cheek, thoughtfully, gazing up at him - spirals squinting as they tried to decipher what was wrong.

"I'm sorry. We need to talk."

"Okay Aurie! Talk away!"

Auron shook his head, pushing his glasses up higher, hoping to banish the feelings from his face.

"It can wait. We need to climb Mount Gagazet. I will tell you at the summit."

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I hope you liked it Aurikku fans :)


	2. Cold

:) Here's the next chapter. Auron doesn't do much listening to the group in my stories it seems haha

* * *

She was shaking, shivering.

He frowned. He was desperate to wrap an arm around her, drape his coat over her shoulders...anything...but how would it seem? What would the others say? Or do?  
He'd been receiving quizzical looks for weeks now, and for a while, knowing stares from Lulu.

"This breeze will only get worse, Rikku."

"I know, but..."

She glanced up at him, her eyes pleading with him - although he wasn't sure why.

"As soon as snow falls, you'll regret not buying a coat."

"Where and when was I gonna get a coat?! During the escape from Bevelle? Or maybe when we were in the deserted spring?!"

He shook his head. She was angry - he hadn't intended his words to be criticism.

"Fine then," He muttered harshly, reverting to his usual uncaring monotone, "I won't mention it again."

Storming ahead, Auron listened to the new snow crunching beneath his feet - It wouldn't be long til they entered Ronso territory. Passionate Yevonites, would they be even allowed through? The crunching seemed to get louder and faster, and Auron turned to find his small Guardian "apprentice" grabbing on to his coat tails.

"Hey Aurie, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get mad...I'm just cold."

He nodded silently, accepting her apology. She quickly retracted her fingers from his coat, and he watched them, growing pinker as she brought them to her chest, trying to warm herself silently.

"_Stop_."

A gruff voice had halted them. They had reached Gagazet and in a matter of seconds were confronted by Ronso.

The Ronso approached Yuna, and Auron cast a watchful eye over her as she began to defend herself against the Maester's accusations.

Over time, as the group began to regain control over the conversation, and Kimahri's rivals appeared, Auron's watch began to waver, and he found his eye resting on something all too familiar - yet painfully not so - Rikku.

She was rocking back and forth, her tiny feet fidgeting back and forth. Imagining what she was thinking, he heard her voice vividly shouting - no, yelling was a far more appropriate word for Rikku - "_C'mon!! Let's get going! I'm SOOO coldddd pleeeaaase_??!!"

Forcibly holding in a chuckle, his eye travelled up from her shoes, watching her lightly tanned legs stretch and relax as she moved - trying to keep herself warm. Rikku's eyes were a unique green, emerald but grassy green - so many shades spiralling in her eyes...and her shorts, the green reminded him every time he saw them of her beautiful eyes. They were so small and tight - inexplicably so - "Al Bhed fashions weren't meant for snow" he remembered her whispering to him through the Macalanian ice - and she was right - but they suited her well. The frills landed on her thighs seductively, and Auron scolded himself, mocking himself - she's too young Auron, eyeing up teenagers - what had he been reduced to?

But she wasn't a child, and young marriages were commonplace in Spira. Soaking up and living as much of life as possible - young lovers rushed into weddings and families - and it worked - divorce wasn't seen often in Spira. Although, Auron wondered if that could be attributed to happiness, or if it was just Sin destroying relationships before they reached breaking point by themselves.

That was another thing he admired about Rikku - here he stood, silent, negative, dark. She was so positive. Bright and sunny - beautifully happy, always. It was what made her loveable. Brightness was what she brought to the group it seemed, even stood shaking in her spot in the snow, she exuded "sun" - even from her bright orange top.

On her shoulders bounced her golden braids, and as he watched her small skeleton shiver, he watched the feathers dance along her back. Her hair was golden and soft, and many a night as a "Supermazing Uber Camp Fire Watching Guardian" he found himself stroking it as she slept, curled on the corners of his coat. One night, his rough hands had managed to untie one braid, and, nervous that his secret doting would be discovered, Auron went about attempting to "re-braid" her hair. Furiously plaiting, Auron undid and tied the braid again and again until he believed it to almost completely resemble Rikku's own masterpiece.  
However, the next morning, after waking himself, he found her sat by the campfire feather in hand, retying her braid. She eyed him suspiciously, before patting a space on the log next to her. He sat down, tentatively, and watched her closely - if ever the occasion occurred where he had accidentally broken the braid again, this time he would know how to redo it without causing too much of a scene for himself.

Looking back now, Auron realised that his nervousness - a feeling he hadn't experienced since Braska's pilgrimage - and his awkwardness probably gave more away about his feelings than the messy braid had. How embarrassing, he sighed.

However, the whole awkward experience wasn't without it's benefits, she had smiled wider afterward than she had in a long time. She had probably been laughing at him, but he found himself smiling back beneath his collar - well-hidden of-course, after all, he did have some dignity left to preserve - because...**that smile**...that smile was beautiful.

A weak tug on his sleeve pulled him from his thoughts, and as he looked down at the cause of it, he saw that very smile - however, it was far weaker and forced than it had been before.

"Rikku?" He asked, concerned.

She looked up at him, then pointed her gloved hand at the group, who were already far ahead.

"We're all leaving now Auron, the Ronso let us pass." As she spoke, the air turned white around her.

Auron furrowed his brow, watching her as she slowly moved forward, after the others. He walked alongside her, examining her - She was trembling with every movement, her face was flushed, but losing colour quickly, her legs were red, and her fingers.  
Rikku wore one thick glove, and in order to aid her stealing - another, glove-less one covered her right hand. Her fingers were red, sore and looked frost-bitten already. Full of worry, and without thinking, he grasped her hand, holding it tightly.

She looked up at him, with a mix of shock and...was that...a smile?

He considered pulling his hand away, but the idea of letting her hand freeze was unimaginable. She pulled in toward him, walking together closely - Auron supposed that this was to make the most of his body heat - and so they continued after the others, hand in hand.

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Rate and Review Please :) Hope you liked. :)


	3. History

Heyya, new chapter. Sorry its a bit dwelly and thoughtful. But Auron is a quiet chap so he must think a lot haha.

I'd like to thank the people who have reviewed so far. :)

By the way, Myto is pronounced "Me-to". Or so I like to imagine :)

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Auron disliked shows of affection. All his adult life he had always been secretive and closed off from others - a Bevellian Warrior Monk was trained to think of nothing but his duties. Protection of Yevon, Love for Yevon and no other. In fact, if he admitted it, he was slightly afraid of affection. Yet, here he was, holding hands with none other than the girl he felt very much for.

Auron supposed that he _had_shown affection as a child. His childhood memories were sparse, few and far between. He remembered his father, ruffling Auron's hair and showing him his sword collection, informing him that one day he'd have his own. _More of a prediction than a suggestion_, Auron grunted - after all, it was his father who placed him in the care of the Temple. He remembered his baby sister, a little girl who tugged at his sleeve much like Rikku did - he looked after her most days - being three years younger she was prone to more dangerous situations than he, and he would often have to take care of her until his mother returned. Perhaps his will to take care of the youngsters in the group stemmed from the fact he was always looking after his sister?  
Then ofcourse there was his mother. Long black hair falling just past his shoulders, she would bend down and look at him with her sparkling eyes and tell him what a _good boy_ he had been, and she would read him stories about great soldiers.

Once Sin destroyed his home - a small island just off of Kilika, all of his memories of his mother and sister became just that. After Sin took them, his father was the only family left. Distraught, he withdrew even further into himself, and after four unbearable months of silence and despair, what was left of their happy family travelled to Bevelle. Auron's father spoke little to him on the journey, and as he left him at the temple, only chose to mutter; "_Make us proud, boy_."

After this, there was no contact for several years. Growing up as a young man, Auron had only teachings as comfort. Teachings that over time meant nothing to him. Auron would find his own resolve, and his own reason to be. Still to this day, he wasn't sure if he really had managed it.

Thinking about his father always made him angry. After he turned eighteen, he made efforts to seek out his father. The man was living in Luca now, and so Auron took off from his temple and headed to his father's new home. Standing outside, he grew excited, ready to go in and tell his father that he had become a soldier too. And then, through the window he saw a small red headed boy run to a dinner table, followed by an older woman who was carrying a dish of food. And there, at the head of the table, his blond hair now turning white, was his father. A new family. Why had he left Auron if he had intended to do this? Maybe his black hair reminded him too much of his wife and daughter, maybe the guilt of wanting a new life was too hard to bear...or maybe his father was a coward. A useless man who no longer wanted to honour the life he had chosen. A weak, _disgusting_ human being.

Auron wanted to run, but he had been trained to be strong - and so he stood there, scowling, _staring _at the useless excuse for a father that now sat at that table, smiling. Smiling widely, until he looked up, and through the window caught his son's piercing eyes.  
The look of shame was gratifying, but it wasn't enough. And so Auron watched him, their eyes caught in a moment that lasted for what seemed like an eternity. The new wife noticed, and turning to her husband, seemed to ask who Auron was. As the father awkwardly flustered an excuse, Auron turned on his heel, and slowly left behind any hope of affection and family.

Auron fought with his thoughts for years. He wished, he hoped, he _pleaded_ that with that look he had destroyed his father, and that his wife had realised that her husband was a cowardly excuse for a man. However, every now and then, deep down he felt a burning itch willing him to go back to his father, to ask him to be the man he needed him to be.

This burning feeling disappeared half way through Braska's pilgrimage. Having set off from Bevelle, the Guardians travelled throughout all of Spira before returning to the North. This inevitably resulted in a visit to Kilika. At first Auron tried to avoid any memory of his family - but even standing on the pier seemed near unbearable as the destroyed island he called home remained broken in the distance.  
No one had made effort to repair it, and Auron could swear the cloud that surrounded the sunny ruins was really a congregation of pyreflies. His family? Did the sending work?

His father had given them up, left them behind.

As Braska and Jecht entered the Cloister of Trials, Auron opted to stay behind. He stood, dumbstruck. Before him on the temple grounds were a series of graves, and on one tombstone were his mother and sister's names, etched clumsily - probably through the tears of those left behind.  
Auron's eyes welled up with tears, and he began to shake. Desperate not to lose control, he rested his right arm on the wall for support. His mother had always told him it was okay to cry. When did things change? Auron was so different to how his mother had raised him to be. He was a failure, he hadn't made her proud, just let her down.

"Aurie? Are you okay? You're kinda clenching my hand a little hard..."

Auron shook his head, releasing Rikku's hand completely. It was funny how memories still affected him, after all these years. Yet he still couldn't bring himself to cry. They continued to walk, and as the snow crunched beneath his feet, Rikku's silence was deafening.

"I had a mother once you know."Auron muttered quietly.

Rikku glanced up at him, her eyes widening for a second. Auron guessed she wasn't used to him talking. Especially about himself. He wasn't used to talking about himself. For once though, he had to let his thoughts out. One feeling at a time, he frowned. It seemed the closer to Zanarkand he came, the more he fell apart. Of-course, being Auron - he hadn't shown it, at least not until now.

"Yeah?" Rikku questioned - Auron smiled slightly. The way she asked was as though she had doubted he'd ever had family at all - ever had anyone.

"She had long black hair. Brown eyes. She had a nice smile."

"Sounds like you! Well, if we ever got to see you smile!" Rikku seemed cheery, perhaps she was being encouraging despite the cold.

"Hmm...She was a good mother."

"Mine too...but she..."

"Sin takes the best of us."

There was silence for what seemed like a long moment, the cold, crisp air catching Auron, the subject leaving him breathless, lost for words.

Then, gently sliding her long, delicate fingers into the palm of his hand, she linked them with his.

"It's okay you know."

"I know."

She was smiling at him.

"Her name was Myto."

"Myto?" She looked up inquisitively, tapping her other finger on her chin, "That means Lady!"

"She was one."

Rikku nodded, and beneath his cowl, Auron smiled slightly.

And so they continued on with their pilgrimage, walking toward the other Guardians, and Auron remembered something and smiled sadly.  
"_Memories are nice, but that's all they are_."

* * *

Sorry for the ending being a bit...off. Hope you liked! :)


	4. Snow

A bit of light relief from the very emotional chapters before. :)

* * *

_"Is Mount Gagazet as big as it looks?!"_

Tidus bounded towards the pair. Auron had released Rikku's hand moments before, and he thought it was just as well. He would not want to portray himself as anything other than a Guardian. His duties were what he was there for, after all.

"Of-course! It's a MOUNTAIN!" Rikku ran forward, her bright eyes and rosy cheeks gleaming.

"It will be quite the journey." Auron muttered.

The journey so far hadn't been without fun. As Auron tried to take his mind off of his memories of death, he found himself remembering the moments that had been...less emotional.  
The journey had been far more eventful than Braska's, and with Yuna's marriage, Rikku's Home, and Tidus' realisations, it had been more of a roller-coaster ride than a pilgrimage.

The most enjoyable - or in more appropriate terms, normal - times had been the nights that they had spent camping along the way.

Macalania's Travel Agency for example.

* * *

Having stopped to view Jecht's sphere, it had seemed to tire out the group, and they opted to bed down in the agency rather than camp in the snow as Auron had first suggested. Amongst the groans came the shrill yell; "TRAVEL AGENCY OR I TURN BACK!" to which Auron turned to the smallest guardian and scornfully laughed.

"What? Back to the Thunder Plains?!"  
"Well...no...but...I..."  
"As I thought."

Auron had inevitably relented to spending what gil they had left on the agency, and after spending their final coins on extra blankets and potions for his less suitably dressed comrades, he had taken to reading a book on chocobos. It was surprisingly intriguing, although perhaps his intrigue was more forced than otherwise - Tidus seemed to be attempting to engage the others in mindless chatter about Yuna's decision - something that no one cared to discuss, least of all Auron.  
A shadow fell over his page. _My turn, I see._Without even looking up, Auron frowned harder at his page - snow chocobos - and spoke harshly.

"It is Yuna's decision. I do not care to intervene."

His monotone speech should have been enough to send Tidus running, but as Auron glanced up, he still saw the young man stood over him.  
Auron sighed.

"What is it?"  
"Yuna...she's really gonna marry that freak isn't she?"  
"Maybe. But why does it matter?"  
"Why wouldn't it matter?!"

The bickering continued for a while, as Tidus threw questions at Auron that he deflected with quick and angry quips. Auron was tiring of this quickly, and almost missed the tiny footsteps that sounded as his favourite guardian approached.

"Yunie said she'd get married...but...we can stop her? I'm sure we can!"

Auron was glad of some relief, but then she turned to him, searching for positivity within his deep brown eye.

"Right Sir Auron?"  
"Less of the "Sir"."  
"We can save Yunie though right?"

Her incessant questioning was unbearable, even more so due to the fact he could tell she knew that Yuna would follow the path she had chosen - marriage and death.

"Yuna will do what **she** wants."  
"But...she'll be okay won't she?"

Rikku had become desperate, and Auron, frustrated, slammed his book shut, throwing it onto the table. Looking up, he could see a look of fear in her eyes, and wondered if it was Yuna's fate, or his force that had scared her.  
Luckily, before he could deliver his hurtful response, Tidus had begun swinging his arms around, insisting that they find a way to stop Yuna. Auron wondered how Tidus had managed to become so close to Yuna so quickly, but then realised he felt a similar way about Rikku.

_"OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!"_

Glancing up quickly, Auron watched as Rikku pulled her hands to her face suddenly. A small pink bruise began to form on her cheek, and looking back at Tidus, Auron quickly deducted what had happened.

"TIDUS YOU HIT ME YOU MORON!"

Tidus' eyes looked pleading, then scared, and he ran away toward the rooms - heading for the comfort of Yuna. Watching this, and too transfixed by her own "suffering", Rikku failed to chase after him. Once he was long gone, shrugging her shoulders Rikku turned to Auron and pouted, hands cupping her red cheeks.

"That** hurt**..."

Auron looked at her quizzically for a moment, unsure how to respond.

"It hurt Aurie! Don't you **careeee**?!"

Auron sighed, and reached out toward her, taking her hands in his and pulling her into the nearby seat.

"I'm sure you can recover."  
"No I can't Auron!"  
"And why not?"  
"It hurts that's why!"

Auron felt a smile form warmly on his face, spreading from cheek to cheek. Trying hard to disguise it, he tugged at his collar roughly.

"So much that you can't go on?"  
"Yes so much that I can't go on..." She pouted again, an act that left Auron suppressing a chuckle.  
"Even worse than the fiend bite you got on the Moonflow?"  
"Even worse!"  
"So you're saying we'll need even more than one elixir this time?"

Rikku paused, as though she had taken Auron seriously. Pushing up his sunglasses, Auron laughed inwardly, if she can't tell this is all a joke then she's even more gullible than I thought. _Cute, I suppose_.

"Well...maybe not that..."  
"Well what then?"  
"Well...maybe if Tidus got punished?"  
"You'd feel better then?"  
"Sure!"

She was grinning now, and Auron found himself smiling back. It wasn't the first time he had indulged in playful conversation with Rikku. Sometimes it was easier to let her have her way than put up a fight - something he had learned on the Thunder Plains. And, after all, dead guys need to have fun sometimes too.

"So what do you want to do to Tidus?"  
"I..." She was looking around, her eyes darting across the room, before they suddenly found rest on the window. "I want to put him outside and make him sleep there!"  
"You want to move him as he sleeps?"  
"Yup! So then he'll be cold and sad too!"  
"Appropriate."

Auron smiled from beneath his cowl. As uncharacteristic as it was, he was happy.

"I like it when you smile Aurie."

And so it was decided, the "Supermazing Uber Camp Fire Watching Guardians" would work together again, this time on punishing "Not-Super Evil Enemy Tidus".

* * *

They waited until nightfall, and as the sky began to grow dark, Auron doubted that the young one would make it until midnight. Sitting next to him, her hands tucked up under her chin, she had her eyes closed. Her head falling forward every so often, before a sudden jolt and she was up again, glancing around furiously to check she hadn't been seen napping.  
After this had happened for the fifth time, Auron deliberately caught her gaze as she woke.

"I can see you sleeping. Even with one eye, you haven't been exactly...subtle..."  
"I guess..." She yawned sadly, "I really didn't want to sleep - I wanted to stay up all night every night you know..."

Auron raised an eyebrow at her.

"Yet you've fallen asleep early every night, especially those that **we** were meant to be guarding camp for."  
"You don't have to be like that Auron..." Her voice hushed to almost a whisper, and her face looked pained.  
"I'm sorry." Auron replied curtly.  
"It doesn't matter...It's just...I don't want to waste any time. At the end of this journey bad things will happen, yno? And I just...I don't want any regrets if we let her get that far..."

Auron broke his gaze from the Al Bhed, and stared at the floor. He should have realised she would have been upset about Yuna's pilgrimage. He'd already known she had more to her than her cheery exterior - why was her sadness hurting him so much?

There was no need for whispering any longer, the others had retired to bed without them - most probably used to seeing Auron and Rikku last to tire out and rest, yet Auron kept a hushed tone. Rikku's feelings weren't to be shouted about.

"There will always be regrets in death..." Auron knew what he wanted to say, but found it hard to word it without further hurting her, "Yuna journeys for her own reasons, ones that won't change. You can't change that Rikku. All you can do is be the best Guardian to her as possible, regardless of your feelings toward the pilgrimage. And to do that you need to rest..."

Auron patted her on the head lightly, almost like he had done to his baby sister - a sign of reassurance. Care.

"I guess so Aurie! I spend so much time running around and stuff, no wonder I need the most sleep!"

He smiled slightly, had he cheered her up?

_

* * *

_

_"Wakeee uppp!"_

Auron opened his eyes to a blurred vision of Rikku. She was shaking him by the arm, whilst removing his sunglasses - most likely to watch his eye open. He glanced across at the table beside him, but could barely make out what was placed upon it. Snatching his glasses back, his vision restored, Auron could see an alarm clock, with the figures "3.35am" glaring brightly at him.  
They had fallen asleep, but it seemed Rikku remembered the deal they had earlier made, and with a hop in her step she led him to the room where Tidus had found a bed. Carefully hoisting the sleeping Tidus over his good shoulder, Auron followed Rikku back out of the dark room, taking care not to bump into the bed of the snoring Wakka.

* * *

"We're lucky he's a heavy sleeper..." Auron remarked, "And thin." He grimaced a little, adjusting Tidus awkwardly on his shoulder.  
"I don't know about THAT! He seems to eat an awful lot of that strawberry pie you make!"  
"Hmm...yes, he's definitely not light..."

They were stood outside, Auron holding the sleeping Tidus, and Rikku wrapped in a blanket, shivering even still.

Tidus had begun snoring, his mouth moving as though eating. With his place on his shoulder, Tidus' lips were uncomfortably close to Auron's neck, and Auron cursed Jecht for his clumsy son.

"Well, where do you want him Lady Rikku?" Auron asked, beginning to move Tidus from his shoulder.  
"In the doorway, but on a snowy bit - I don't want to be too cruel, but not too nice either!"  
"As you wish."

Carefully placing the boy on the floor, Auron made way for Rikku to approach and place a blanket over the sleeping teen. It seemed she had gathered snowballs during their time outside, as she was now piling them up onto Tidus' chest. Backing away from him, she retrieved a sphere from her pocket, snapped a photograph, and began to giggle uncontrollably.

Tidus' smiling, sleeping face, combined with the situation he was now in, was enough to finally crack the ronin up. Laughing hysterically, Rikku had to usher him indoors, so to not wake their prank victim.

* * *

His face the next morning was possibly an even better picture than the one taken the previous night. Needless to say, as soon as Tidus walked through the door, he had snowballs in his hands, ready for his revenge.

One snowball landed in Rikku's cereal to her shock, but the other, was headed for a much more dangerous place. Midway through his breakfast, Auron had not noticed the young boy's arrival, and as he lifted his spoon to his mouth, suddenly felt a very hard and cold blow to his nose. Looking down, stunned, he saw the remnants of a snowball in his cereal bowl too.

"**WHAT**?! You just hit Sir Auron right in the chops!" Rikku yelled, jumping from her seat and punching Tidus in the stomach sharply, causing enough of an injury to him that he landed flat on his back on the Travel Agency floor.

Auron tried to maintain a straight face, but as he spoke, small hints of laughter fell through the pauses in his words.

"And that's what you get for crossing the "Supermazing Uber Camp Fire Watching Guardians"."

Rikku's face, a mixture of shock and excitement in reaction to his words, was the final straw. Auron laughed more that morning than he had had in years.

* * *

Now, in Mount Gagazet, he considered how much damage his reputation would take, if he were to be the one throwing snowballs this time.

* * *

Thanks for reading :) Hope you enjoyed. :)


	5. Grave

A short chapter, I'm sorry. It seems the only inspiration I've had lately is for future chapters. How awkward! haha :)

* * *

A large mound of snow stood before them.  
Snow and rock. And weapons.

Broken shards of swords, rusted bullets, rotten staffs.

_A grave._

Auron sighed. His act was a good one, his cold, stiff facade worked on most occasions - and eventually, over time, it became all that he was. However..._gravestones_...they always rocked his confidence, they always shook him to the core.

Not always. Just since Kilika. His mother and sister.

Their gravestones were so roughly engraved, so quickly put together...it almost made him sick with anger. They deserved better, they were worth more than a broken slab of rock as their sole memorial.

As were the Summoners.

Rikku was shaking. Auron couldn't tell if it was the cold, or the thought that her cousin may meet a similar end.

* * *

The path was long. Long and full of thought.

Auron wondered how he could tell her. Or what he would tell her. What _could_ he tell her? Maybe it was better just to tell her the truth about his death - and try to forget his feelings.

He had so much he wanted her to know about him. His family, his life before Braska, his life..._no_...his death for the ten years prior to the pilgrimage. Where he would go after Yuna performed the Final Summoning. His feelings. His feelings for _her_.

It would hurt her - either that, or confuse her. Leave her feeling guilty, she already had so much going on in her head. He could read her like an open book most days, but the journey through Mount Gagazet had been a different story. Perhaps it was because she knew they were nearing the end.

No...he couldn't tell her it all. Not yet. But...could he leave her with such a heavy heart? Leave her without a confession?

* * *

Before he knew it, Auron and the others had reached the top of the Mountain Path. That is, all of them but Rikku and Tidus.

How could he have not noticed? His eye was always focused on her, fixated by her every movement. And now she was half way down the path. Every possible danger flew through his mind, yet before he had even turned to run back down, he felt something crash into his back, and heard a large thud as whatever it was crashed to the floor. Reaching for his blade, he turned to see his prey was the girl herself.

Rikku's fingers clutched at the bottom of his coat, and her eyes looked pleadingly at him.

"Sey-Sey...he...he..."

"Rikku?!" Removing his hand from the sword, he wrapped his arm around her waist, lifting her onto her feet. Losing her balance a little, she fell slightly into his arms. Her quick glance - a look of warmth and hope - was lost as Auron looked for the others reaction.

"What is it Rikku? Where's Tidus?" Lulu enquired.

Snapping out of the moment abruptly, Rikku looked searchingly at Auron.

Moving wildly, she cried out.

"It's Seymour!" Her fingers caught Auron's as she swung her arms fearfully, and a chill ran up his spine.

It was just Seymour's presence, he shook his head, dismissing the thought.

"We must hurry."

* * *

She had not lied, Seymour stood before Tidus, darkness seeping out of every pore, wearing the Farplane as though it was an aftershave. Auron grunted, remember Seymour's past words.

_"We Guado are keen to the scent of the Farplane."_

The man was a psychotic monster. A failure of a Maester, a liar, a kidnapper, a murderer. Oozing charm, he had easily wooed Yuna - yet now, the group stood before the villain, disgusted and sick at the thought of him.

He had killed the Ronso. He had killed his father, Maester Kinoc - Auron's friend, Maester Kelk Ronso...and he had successfully wiped out half of the Ronso and Al Bhed races. He had broken Rikku's heart in ways unimaginable. Auron hated the man with every bone in his body. He had to do this now. He had to end this sickness, this worry. Seymour would fall today and Auron would tell her. He would rid himself of these thoughts, these worries.

* * *

They fought.

As Seymour's body fell, Yuna demanded the truth.

Jecht had been revealed to be Sin, the truth was out, and the group would learn to deal with it.

Auron stayed on the cliff-side as the others walked on, still determined to finish their journey. Admirable.

"Rikku, wait."

Auron could see the Calm Lands, and even Bevelle from his position.

Silently, he begged for his mother to help him tell her.

* * *

Sorry it's so small! Hope you liked :)


	6. Unsent

* * *

Igor Lollipop, when you asked me to write another chapter soon, I bet you didn't expect it THIS soon! hahahah

I hope it's okay guys. It's hard to write a story from the point of view of someone who doesn't really speak. And I cannot for the life of me build drama :(

Anyway! lol here it is :)

* * *

_"Rikku, wait."_

Minutes passed, and Auron still couldn't voice his thoughts. Staring at the bleak, grey sky, he wondered if this had been the right decision. He could always turn around and make a quick remark - it would anger her, but it would spare her feelings. And his own.

Maybe that was what he cared about most. Maybe he was just a selfish old man, who's only concern was himself. He was sure she'd told him something similar once. He had hurt her feelings on more than one occasion. At the time he would put it down to her childish nature, but perhaps it was more to do with himself, and his own insecurities.

"What is it Auron?"

"I..."

Auron frowned.

"You know you'll get wrinkles if you keep that up!" Her voice, although cheery, trembled slightly. She was now stood beside him, looking up at him, the spirals gazing at his lined face.

"I have enough of those." He grunted softly.

"I don't know...they look nice anyway, kinda...extinguished?"

A grin spread across his face, and he chuckled slightly. "I think you mean distinguished. But thanks anyway..."

She was rolling her eyes and dancing around now, and as he watched her from behind his collar, he thanked her silently for breaking the ice.

"Rikku, I want to tell you about myself."

"Wha-" She had stopped suddenly, and the sudden lack of movement threw her sideways. As she regained her balance, she took a moment to compose herself.

"Okay," she smiled softly. "I'd like to hear it."

His eye watched her warmly. He supposed it wasn't often he spoke for longer than three words, let alone long enough to talk about himself.

"I...I don't know where to start..."

"Start from the beginning!" She smiled, encouragingly.

"I come from Kilika. My mother, I told you about her before...her name was Myto. She was beautiful. I had a sister too. Her name was Dana. When I was eight, they were killed my Sin. Dana was only five years old."

Rikku was listening intently. He supposed she had probably never even imagined he had family, let alone that they had been taken from him so young. "What about your dad?"

"He...He was a useless excuse for a man. His name was Isakk. He left me with the Bevelle Temple as soon as he could. Remarried and made a new family. I was left with the Temple. I was taught to believe in Yevon, and to love nothing else."

He frowned.

"When I was twenty five, I turned down a promotion. It came with marrying a priest's daughter. The first sign Yevon was as corrupt as the Sin it fights. They cast me out. I met Braska."

He turned away from her, not wanting her to see his pained face. He was trying desperately to make his story as brief as possible, so that he would save face...so that he wouldn't cry. He couldn't cry. He hadn't in so many years.

"I met Braska...and in time, met Jecht. Ever since my mother, and Dana...I'd never really protected anyone. I hadn't been close to anyone. Yevon was all I had, and all I knew, but over time my faith crumbled, and I lost it all. Jecht and Braska...They became my friends. I depended upon Braska as much as he did on me. I grew to appreciate Jecht. And, then we made it to the end. We came here."

He heard the snow crunch beneath her feet as she walked toward him. Glancing over his shoulder, he saw her standing not too far behind, hands clutched to her chest, knees bent, head down. He hadn't wanted to hurt her like this...

"Like you, I tried to stop him. But like Yuna, Braska wouldn't stop. He defeated Sin, he died. For nothing. Jecht died too, Jecht became Sin. All for nothing. And I..."

Auron's voice cracked...words failed him.

"I couldn't protect my mother and sister. I couldn't protect my friends. I couldn't even get revenge. After they fell...I...I..."

Her hand rested on his weak arm. It was a comforting feeling. It felt like she was holding him. Maybe it wouldn't hurt her after all.

"I went back...I..." His voice was breaking, trembling. Thoughts and memories rushing through his mind, he closed his eye._ It was time_.

"I died."

Her gasp was almost unnoticeable, and her grasp on his arm loosened at first. Then she sighed, pressing her weight against his back, wrapping her arms around him. Opening his eye, he looked down to see her delicate fingers holding onto his belt. He smiled softly, his heart felt broken but elated at the same time. One weight had been lifted, and she hadn't been repulsed by him. He considered it a success of sorts.

"I think...I kinda knew." She spoke softly and slowly.

Breaking away from the hug, he turned to her, releasing his weaker arm from its sleeve at the same time. Her green eyes looked up at him, and he watched as tears began to form among the swirls.

"Rikku..." Before she could cry he pulled her into his arms. He did it roughly, but it was the only way he knew how. Her arms found their way under his cloak, and wrapped around his waist.

"You're unsent...but...You're still here though, right? For now at least?" She stammered.

How could he reply?

"Yes."

Her bottom lip was quivering. His heart filled with sorrow. He'd always believed he wouldn't be affected. At least not by others tears, others weakness. As a warrior monk his heart should have been cold. Macalania Ice. And here he was holding this girl that he felt so much for, feeling torn, wretched at the thought of causing her such misery.

She looked up again, and pulled an arm from out under his coat. Her nimble fingers danced across his face, finding a place on his ear, before snatching his sunglasses from his face. She looked into his eye, and Auron surprised himself by letting her. Rikku was studying him, and after a moment, she replaced his glasses.

"You'll make it be okay." She whispered softly, pulling away. She span around, with a bounce back in her step.

Auron was floored by her reaction. Was she...happy?

"What?"

"I looked in your eye...and I know you'll make it okay." She turned back, smiling sweetly. Hints of tears remained in her eyes, but her smile was true.

Beneath his collar, Auron smiled back.

* * *

They had been standing on the cliffside for a while after she had pulled away. They were making small talk, about Zanarkand, about the journey left ahead.

"It's not far now. There are more trials, but then we reach the end."

She had fallen silent.

"I don't think I want to know what'll happen then." She muttered.

Auron's head fell, he was wordless again.

"You'll tell me more won't you? About your family? And you? I want to know all about you Auron."

"Why?"

"Because I care. I care to know. And...it would be nice. And...maybe...maybe I can tell you stuff about me too."

Auron nodded, and smiled slightly.

"There's still a lot I have to tell you Rikku."

She nodded too, but kept her eyes focused on the floor.

She was so pretty. He just wanted to protect her. _I'm unsent_. He told himself, as if to remind himself why he couldn't tell her everything. But...she was everything he wanted. She was shivering.

"Rikku..."

She shook silently, and as he approached her, he saw a tear run down her cheek. Wiping it off with his coarse leather glove, he removed his cloak, and placed it gently over her shoulders. Looking up at him, her eyes looked brighter. She tugged the coat in toward her, before pushing her arms through its sleeves.

"It suits you," He smiled sadly. "Maybe you can have it one day."

* * *

Hope you enjoyed and it wasn't a let down!

Last line is a hint at the Samurai dressphere :)


	7. Coat

Because you asked so nicely TenzouGirl/DemonLynk :)

Sorry it's rubbish and short - I have lost my inspiration T_T

* * *

He was dead. He was dead and she knew. The walk to the others was slow, and it was silent. She was smiling to herself - smiling but with teary eyes. Auron kept his eyes on the floor.

Having met with the others, they carried on through the mountain. The scenery was unlike any other that the group had seen before.

The sky was white, bright lights shining through heavy clouds illuminated the area. Gold lines shined through the sky, twinkling and reflecting small orbs of green - reflections of the Calm Lands below. Sometimes the green swirled as the clouds moved, and Auron was reminded again of her bright eyes. The snow was bright, blinding the group. Steam erupted from holes in the floor, and clear hot water created pools in the ground. The ice that formed around the waterfalls ahead was sparkling and blue. The translucent rainbows that filled the area were reminiscent of pyreflies. Of the Farplane.

Auron sighed.

Rikku still wore his coat, holding its hems to her body, as if she were cold. Her eyes however betrayed her thoughts, and Auron could tell she was looking for comfort, rather than warmth. The closer they got to the summit, the closer Yuna's death became.  
Each new sight, each new area made it all the more real.

Walking onward, the group reached a small cliff-side. Auron focused on the floor, he didn't want them to know how he felt. Taking Yuna to her grave, leading Tidus on this "wild goose chase". How could he be sure that Jecht was still inside Sin? He had felt his spirit when he brought him to Spira, yes, but...Jecht had been dead for ten years. How could he know that Jecht would remember his son? How could he be sure that bringing Tidus to Spira was the right thing to do? Perhaps it was his own selfishness, his own need for home that led him to drag Tidus back to Spira. He had promised both Jecht and Braska he would care for their children - yet as far as he could see, both would be as dead as their parents by the end of the journey.

The Guardians let out a collective gasp, and Auron looked up.

"The Fayth."

Statues of humes clung to a mountainous wall before them, their bodies still as the rocks they were tied to, but emitting an eerie energy - as though they breathed beneath their porcelain features. A blue watery mist swam around the group, pulsating over the fayth statues, and forming a whirlwind pillar nearby.

They were confused, each wondering why the statues were so alive.

Perhaps she had realised now that Auron had seen everything before, perhaps it had finally dawned on her that Auron had lived many lives before she had even drawn her first breath, perhaps she was just curious - but whatever the reason, Rikku had turned to Auron, questioning him with bright, almost frightened, eyes. She was chirpy, but there was something beneath the surface that he had failed to reach yet.

"Hey! You know something don't ya?! Spill the beans!"

"Look not to others for knowledge, this is your journey too." He muttered matter-of-factly, walking quickly ahead. Indeed it was, a treacherous and long one, too long for someone of her age. And, he considered, her life is at risk too. Who was to know who Yuna would choose as her fayth? He sighed. He would not let that happen, not to her.

"Yunie might die, y'know?" her voice was quiet and sad. He could feel her behind him, shaking. Closing his eyes, he tried to think how he could, or should, respond. He hated to hurt her - he wanted to keep her safe. Yet it was he who had agreed to her journeying with them in the first place...Perhaps part of the reason he had accepted Yuna's wish was because he had wanted to watch over Rikku. Once she had opened her eyes and looked at him for the first time, he hadn't wanted to have to stop seeing her. He hadn't wanted to lose that feeling. _Selfish of me_, he sighed, _yet again_.

Before he had had chance to respond, Tidus had spoken to Rikku for him. Suddenly he fell to the ground, shouting.

Auron span around quickly, quick enough to watch Rikku throw off his coat and run to Tidus' aid. Part of it stung a little, watching her wipe Tidus' hair from his face, and catching a look of heartbroken concern on her face, Auron wondered why he had ever thought she could consider loving him. Picking up his red coat, he put it back on carefully and slowly, half because of the constant pain his left arm was in - something he never had told the group - and partly because he was focused on Rikku and her reactions.

He was dead. An hour earlier he had confessed his deepest secret to this girl, and now...now she seemed to have shrugged it off as though it was the least of her worries. The last thing that could affect her or bother her. He had trusted her and this was how she repayed him, by ignoring his lifeless features and his memories, and cradling Tidus instead.

Tidus had touched the fayth, and they would tell him what Auron already knew. Tidus was unconscious, but he was alive and well. Tidus was fine. _A dream cannot die_, Auron muttered under his breath.

Auron's mind wandered back to the young Al Bhed, who was crouching carefully on the rock floor. _Why did I ever fall for her? How could I have ever thought loving her was appropriate, let alone considered telling her? _He had been by Tidus' side ever since Tidus was a small boy. He had all but raised him, some moments Auron had found himself considering Tidus to be his own son - before he had mentally scolded himself, and reminded himself of his friend's sacrifice. If he had raised this boy, his "half son", then how could he let himself love this young girl beside him, a girl who was even younger than the boy he had watched for ten years? How could he expect her to have understood the gravity of his condition?

Tidus sprung up, and Auron forced himself to leave his thoughts behind. Relaxing, Rikku glanced around for the coat she had made her own, and her eyes widened and shimmered as she spotted the red. Reaching out for the coat, she realised she was clutching the coat tails, and that Auron was wearing it once again.

Feeling a hand rest softly on his leg, Auron looked down to find Rikku staring back up at him. Her eyes swirled with emotion, yet Auron couldn't tell what emotion in particular. She always did this. She always looked at him with those orbs and he always melted. Not now. Not here.

His eyes pierced hers, and she blinked nervously at him. _Let go_.

Auron grunted, turning quickly and striding ahead with as much menace as he could.

He was hurt, though it pained him even more to admit it. She had thrown his coat off in a split-second, a gesture he had made to her in kindness. He had trusted her and spoken to her, he had shown her a side to him he had never dared to reveal to any of the others they had met on that journey. Yet she repayed him with this. _A fool,_Auron thought, _years of solitude and you fawn over a schoolgirl Auron? Pathetic._

Gagazet's caves lay ahead, a maze of passages much like the web of feelings and memories Auron carried around himself.

Maybe if he stayed away from her he could convince himself that this pathetic romance he had imagined was exactly that - she could never love him, and so he had better not love her.  
If he could forget her, perhaps he could leave Spira without a burden or a regret.

* * *

Auron's a jealous old miserable man hahaha

He'll cheer up and stop being so emo soooon! haha

The way I see it though, Auron wouldn't be joy and laughter at the end of the pilgrimage anyway. After all, he's going to face Jecht again, he's taking his friends' children to pretty much their own execution...and if Aurikku is real, he's also taking his love interest too ;) Also we all know what Auron does at the end of the pilgrimage too *sob* :'( soooo he's a bit moody at the moment sorry!


End file.
